Lemons

A good freind once told me, "when life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand for cookies." This was in the 6th grade. I am much more mature having aged a little in the past couple of years, but i believe that this saying still rings true. Not in the stupid immature silly saying way, but in a real, meaningfull, apply this to your life, way. When one is dealt bad cards in this game we call life (not the board game, and NO i am not plagurizing you ruffle!!!), one must throw them back and DEMAND for better! One must stand up for what one believes in and not get Knocked down and trampled by a herd of stampeding middle schoolers! One must be right there in the dealers face and DEMAND for better! One must not just sit there and let it happen! One must scream and throw a tantrum if that is what is needed! I will NOT be dealt the short hand! I will not do what ANYONE tells me to do if i cannot, and, or, don't want to do it! I REFUSE to be anyone's stepping stone!!!

"I'm not your stepping stone. I'm not your stepping stone. When first i met you girl you didnt have no shoes, now you walk around like your frontpage news! you be awful carefull bout the freinds you choose! and you wont find me girl on you book of loozoos!"
-The Monkees, Stepping Stone

Dreams

Have you ever had that sudden realization after a dream?
A time when you dreamed about something that you had no idea you knew and/or wanted?

I had one of those times last night, and the realization was so painfull I will not state it clearly here. Some of the followers of this may know, but the rest of the world will (hopefully) stay oblivious.

Normally my dreams are about falling of lockers, and other trivial things, but this one was NOT.
In THIS dream, i was somewhere with a certain person and he took my hand and we went walking in the woods. I still remember how his hand felt against mine. It was a very vivid dream. We talked about things as we walked. Then we stopped and I looked up into his face, and... my alarm went off. I snoozed it and went back to sleep to continue the dream. For some strange reason this person started going to my school that day (it was NOT where i acctualy go, but some imagined school) and i was eating lunch and watching this boy when my mother walks up, she sits down and asks me what im thinking about and i tell her. I tell her all about the walk in the woods, and all about how much i like this boy, and how when we got back to school, he just started ignoring me, and how painfull it was that he wouldnt be with me. I told her EVERYTHING. Im acctually quite quiet about most things. I almost never tell my secrets to multiple persons. So, gushing like this was quite strange for me. When i woke up to my alarm once again, i suddenly realized (when i though i had gotten over this certain person a LOOOOONG time ago), that i did not simply LIKE this person, (i thought i might have lingering likingness goin on) i LOVE him. And it HURTS ME. Like my friend Gunther(stupid code names!) and his Ariel (CODE NAMES STINK!!!), he is an obsession to me, and i cant help but love him, no matter what. I will repeat myself once agian: IT HURTS ME.

And to make matters worse, I dont WANT to LIKE, not to mention LOVE, this person!


here is my quote of the day, a song about my sudden realization, because Colbie Calliet was TOTALY thinking of ME when she wrote this song (heh heh heh):
-If you'd just realize what i've just realized, then we'd be perfect for eachother and we'd never find another, just realize what i just realized, we'd never have to wonder if we'd missed out on eachother now.

it SUCKS to have sudden realizations like this. i HATE my dang subconscious right now!